The hardest part of being a Mom is calming my nerves. Keeping yourself calm is no easy task, more so if you are a new Mom.
I cannot count the number of times I reached my breaking point during my son’s childhood years. He seems to have an instinct when it comes to pushing my buttons.
Unfortunately, when you lose your cool, you feel bad about yourself afterwards. Emotions feed emotions. When you are angry and screaming, your child will feed off from that anger and cause him to start a tantrum.
Remember that being a role model is one effective way of communicating with your child. Your actions and words once imitated can come across as the right thing in the eyes of a toddler.
Here are a few suggestions on how to keep your cool so that next time you feel like you are about to explode, you might think of doing one of these:
- Distract yourself and your child. Whenever my son and I are about to start a battle of wills, I usually start tickling him or make funny faces to make him laugh. Sometimes, I would ask him if he wants to go outside for a walk. I will do anything to distract from a warpath with me.
- Make a balance between safety and over protectiveness. Being my firstborn, I was naturally over protective of my son. I constantly worry about his safety. However, as he grows up, he would naturally want to explore and try new things. I cannot keep saying “NO” just to satisfy my need to keep him safe; I have to let him learn how to be independent. Remember, part of setting boundaries is empowering them to make a decision.
- Know when to give yourself a break. When I feel tired, the slightest push triggers my anger. What I do is take time out to rest. I would take my son in the kitchen for a much needed “ice cream” break. Sometimes I would take deep calming breaths and count until I can find calm.
- One of the best solutions I found is letting my husband take over for me. My husband and I have this agreement that on weekends, he would take care of the kids while I catch up on some much-needed rest and sleep. It helps energize me.
- Find a punching bag. I do not mean this literally. Having someone to vent your anger out will help relieve you of the stress. It can be your husband, a friend, or a relative who is a good listener.
- I am lucky that I have an understanding husband. He listens to me and allows me to vent. Once I have vented out all my anger, he would just embrace me and kiss my forehead and say, “You are a great Mom, and I love you more for it.” Honestly, that makes me feel better.
- Remove yourself from the situation. There will be times when nothing seems to work and you find yourself at the end of your tether. Best to remove yourself from the situation. Stepping away will give you time to think objectively and clarify the things that are bothering you.
- Do not get overwhelmed. When a situation happens, we get overwhelmed with it keeping us from seeing things clearly. The key is to be more attentive. Pay attention to details because sometimes the answer is on those details.
Children can be stressful, especially during the early years of their childhood. They have unlimited supply of energy and keeping up with them can really be tiring. If you are calm, your child will stay calm and that would help keep conflicts from arising.
Parenting with your heart
Staying calm can be tough with a growing toddler, more so with two growing toddlers. You can keep cool without losing your sanity (and your kids’ trust and love) by following these few tips:
- Think first before you say no. Try not to rush to avoid inconvenience. Kids have a thousand and one ways to keep a running cycle of questions. Sometimes, it is okay to say yes to your toddler. You might find that saying yes sometimes can gain you more than saying no.
- Energize yourself. Take enough rest by going to bed early. You cannot take care of things if you are too tired. You can take a hobby or take up reading to distract you.
- Set some boundaries but do not set too many boundaries. You do not want too many restrictions that would discourage your child’s growth.
- Share a hug. Instead of yelling at the top of your lungs, give your toddler a hug. Sometimes, a hug or a touch from our love ones eases our troubles.
Calming your child
When your children are restless, they can ran around the house and wear you down.
An active child can unbalance you and turn your world upside down. Finding calm and order in the house is not easy with a hyperactive child.
Do not despair though; there are ways to calm even a restless child:
- Keep them fed with food that has healthy fats, nourishing carbohydrates and good quality protein to keep their energy level stable. Avoid giving them chocolate. Chocolate has caffeine, which is the number one energy stimulant.
- Create a routine. Having a regular routine will keep things running smoothly. You know what to expect and surprises would be minimal.
- Give them time to have enough sleep. Children are cranky and restless when they are tired. Kids age 1 – 3 should have 12 to 14 hours of sleep a day, ages 3 – 6 at least 12 hours and ages 7 – 12 should have 10 – 12 hours of sleep a day.
- Keep them active the entire day so that by nighttime, they will sleep early. They will be too tired to argue with you about going to bed early.